Hilarious
Some of you will have heard about this already in real life or on facebook, but Lucy had her first solid food this weekend: a magazine subscription card.
I had put her down on her rolling-around quilt in the living room with some toys, but nothing is ever as awesome as her big sister, so she 360′d her way over to Eliza (sidenote: I had forgotten how funny rolling is as a primary means of locomotion), who was sitting nearby, reading her latest issue of My Big Backyard. Eliza had torn out the subscription cards and put them next to her, and by the time I returned from my bathroom break, Lucy had stuffed a card in her mouth and gummed it to a pulpy mash. Eliza is as awesome as Lucy thinks she is, but she has the common sense of a gnat, sometimes, and it had clearly not occurred to her to take the card away from Lucy.
I fished the remains of the card out of her mouth and went about my business, only to have a momentary freakout the next morning over Lucy’s dirty diaper. The consistency and color of her poo was WAY off and I was having an omigod-what-is-she-allergic-to-now-or-is-she-just-shitting-out-her-innards-for-fun moment before I realized that all the weird bits had words on them. Apparently she ate a good deal more of the card than I thought, but her system didn’t know what to make of it and pretty much sent everything on through untouched. I could probably have taped all the bits back together and sent them in to the magazine.
Everyone is fine, of course, but I am thinking that perhaps the baby is ready for solid food.
***
Eliza has discovered, and become obsessed with, the equation that Comedy = Tragedy + time.
Whenever she tells a story now, she says something about how it wasn’t funny then but it is now, except for the other day, when she told me something that happened to a friend of hers but prefaced it with, “I have to tell you something about A____, only it isn’t funny yet.” Go ahead, just TRY to school your expression into something fittingly solemn with that kind of a lead-in. (And lest you think I am a horrible person, the incident was minor and everyone is fine.)
***
There is a fancy-pants new beer store in our area and Jim went there because he wanted to buy some rare gourmet beer. When he asked for it, the guy looked really shifty and tried to dodge the question. Eventually, it came out that he did, in fact, have some, but he didn’t want to sell it to people who wouldn’t appreciate it. Jim had to trot out his beer bonafides before the guy grudgingly decided he was worthy of purchasing two bottles.
***
I am paranoid about overusing the word “hilarious” since I heard Louis CK’s profane but well-argued rant on the subject, but nonetheless, I feel that my life sometimes warrants the use of the word.
