Lucille Grace is 2 today.
She is excited about having people sing “HAP BIRDY ME!” and getting presents and eating pizza, because on your birthday, you get to pick dinner, and that is what she wants.
I hope she likes the big wheel tricycle I got her because I legit gave myself a blister putting the thing together last night.
I will post photo reportage of her adorably unwrapping things at some point.
For now, let me just say once again that while I was very skeptical of this whole “let’s have a second kid” endeavor (because the first one was already perfect! and why tempt fate?!), I am fully on board (because the second one is ALSO perfect! in a completely different way!).
I forgot that toddlers are hilarious just by dint of existing. Which they are. Every day, the fact the she refuses to wear anything except shorts cracks me up. And so does the fact that she calls them SHOITS!
As does the fact that this morning, she complained that her FOIK! was on the FOY! Why does my child have a Brooklyn accent? I do not know but it is never not funny.
This morning’s bodily function dialogue:
Lucy: MAMAAAAA! I MAKE POOP!
AM: You did? OK, let me check. (checks) No you didn’t.
Lucy, as close to chagrined as toddlers get: OH. IT BE FART.
And why does she call me MAMA!, while Eliza has always called me Mommy?
AM: Lucy, how was your day? Did you have a nice time at Nanny’s house? (Nanny is what she calls her daycare provider)
Lucy, cheerfully: J__ push me!
AM: OH, I’m sorry. Were you sad?
Lucy, equally cheerfully: I kick J____
AM: Uh oh! Was J___ sad?
Lucy: I go in time-out. (pause) I cry. (pause again) J___ cry.
I completely failed at keeping a straight face.
My mom got both girls some pajamas and new shoes to start the school year. Lucy only needed snow boots, so that’s what she got. As you can see, she insisted on modeling her new togs forthwith:
And then I got her to say thank you:
Eliza got these shoes and we are all ded frum cute. Also, they match her uniform. The lanky 8-year-old, skinny ankle with giant feet thing keeeeells me:
Also, you had to know this was coming, yes? Eliza made her stuffed animals a rock climbing wall:
All-caps pop cultural update
KINGS OF LEON HAVE A NEW ALBUM OUT IN 25 DAYS AND I HAVE THE FIRST SONG ALREADY AND LO IT IS GOOD.
I really hope they go on tour again, because now my hair is too short for bitchy fellow concert-goers to get any gum in it.
Less shrieky second pop cultural update
I finally saw Stoker a few nights ago, and I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT!
I have wanted to see it since I saw a preview of it that hardcore pinged my Hitchcock radar because it was extremely obvious that whoever wrote it had a slight Shadow of a Doubt obsession. Have you seen Shadow of a Doubt? Joseph Cotton plays a murderer who comes to visit his niece, who doesn’t know he’s a killer and looks up to her uncle. It is one of Hitchcock’s less violent but nonetheless darkest stories. My college professor made a case for it being one of his best and unfairly overlooked, and I am 100 percent in agreement.
Anyway, after I saw the movie, I looked up some articles about it and found that my radar has pinged correctly. I don’t want to say too much, only that it is suspenseful, gorgeous, deeply unsettling, that Nicole Kidman’s ruined face is used to magnificent effect, and that Mia Wasikowska is definitely my new movie girlfriend. Prodigiously talented doesn’t begin to cover it. She needs to be in ALL THE THINGS.
Also, it was written by Wentworth Miller. People who stand up for what’s right become immediately 100 percent more attractive to me, and perhaps that accounts for my amusement that his coming out/reaction to Russia’s abysmal treatment of the LGBT community was greeted with a resounding cry of “WHAT?! HOW IS HE 41?!?”
Third shrieky pop cultural update
We just marathoned the first season. Claire Danes, man. Woah. I love that she grew into her talent so gracefully. And the chemistry with Damian Lewis is off the charts and I ship Carrie/Brody hardcore even as I end every episode yelling “Look at your life! Look at your choices!” at the screen at both of them.
Fourth and final shrieky pop cultural update
Welcome to Night Vale: Imagine if Garrison Keillor broadcast Welcome to Lake Woebegone from Sunnydale, and you would be pretty close to the tone of this podcast. Everything sounds sunny and bright except then there are announcements about the dog park that no one is allowed to acknowledge or use with their dogs, and there’s a five-headed dragon running for mayor and the school board includes a glow cloud that spits animal carcasses. Obviously, this is my wheelhouse.