1. My children are a trial sent to test me
Mornings are hectic, and I not infrequently end of running to tend to various bellowing children and their requests for shoes, spoons, etc., in my underpants (or less). Someone is mighty judgy about that, considering that she is the cause of my state of undress.
Sample morning commentary:
MAMA WHY YOU NOT WEAH SHIRT?
MAMA WHY YOU NAKE-Y?
MAMA GO UP-SAIR AND PUT ON PANTS!
And then there’s the other one, who this morning sat in front of a bowl of cereal howling about how there was no milk in it and someone needed to fix that and “Mommy you said there were only 2 minutes left until it was time to leave and there’s no milk in the bowl.” You are free to imagine the level of snark/eye-rolling in my tone of voice as I pointed out that as an eight-year-old, she was fully qualified to go to the fridge, get the milk, and pour it on her own damn cereal. In my defense, I don’t think I actually said “damn.” But I sure thought it.
2. Go ahead, YOU try to keep a straight face
Lucy, pointing at bra: WHY YOU WEAR DAT MAMA?
AM mumbles something about being a grown-ups lady with big boobs
Lucy, poking at her chest: WHEN I BIG, I HAVE BIG BOOBIES TOO! BUT NOW I WIDDOW, AND I HAZ WIDDOW BOOBIES!
3. Tom Sawyer
The other day I was solo-ing dinnertime while Jim went to the eye doctor to get drops put in his eyes so he would look like a bug/psychopath. I was trying to get the kids to do something peaceful but not screen-involving because the toddler was moaning WANNA WATCH SOMEFING ONNA NOOOOOOOOOK over and over and just, no, so I asked them if they wanted to do dishes.
They thought this was a fine idea and spent about 45 minutes “washing” the dishes and getting suds all over and generally being delightful to each other, so that will be happening again.
Just look at them being all cute. (Eliza is wearing a hat made for her by some folks from my work because green felt fairy hats are totally de rigeur dishwashing head gear.):
4. I have no reason for posting this picture except that it keeeeeeells me with the cuteness. Also, four for whoever comes up with a good word to describe her eye color, because I am officially stumped. They are simultaneously grey, green, blue, and hazel, as far as I can tell:
Oh wait, actually I do have a reason: she’s decided to be heteronormative and wears skirts and dresses, like, from one day to the next. Is very confounding because I have no idea why. Next up: convincing her to wear long-sleeved and legged pajamas, because she refuses and then I go to put her in her bed and she will wake from a dead sleep to yell at me for putting her there and carry on with said yelling until I put her in my bed whereupon she drops immediately back into a level of sleep so deep you could have a hoedown on the bed without making her stir. I have a theory that long sleeves will allow me to fool her vis-a-vis the cold sheets.
5. This is how she fell asleep the other night:
6. Children with deep fried Oreos, and Eliza in jeans, which is also a new thing for us: